I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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