Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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