so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
