When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
