He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
