You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They took my balls.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
