Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
