Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
