is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The uberlube is also flammable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
