no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's get the cat blown out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
