I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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