Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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