who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
