are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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