My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
