so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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