Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
