I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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