? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
