I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
