please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
