i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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