guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
