i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
