He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This toilet bowl is my home.
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