i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i think im in europe. pls send help
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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