Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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