then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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