it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
