i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
