When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
