I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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