ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
