How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
