There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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