I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
