my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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