We're like a lot better than the average bears
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
