is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
