She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
