I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
