My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
