how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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