Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am available for nakedness
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
