So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
