How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
