Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
