But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My balls are so social today.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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