CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
