Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
