Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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