She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
